Here are 15 funny quotes about motherhood:

 

"Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious."

"Being a mom means never buying the right amount of produce. Either everyone suddenly loves bananas, or fruit flies are forming a cult in your kitchen."

"I used to have functioning brain cells, but I traded them in for children."

"Why don't kids understand that their nap is not for them but for us?"

"Motherhood: Powered by love. Fueled by coffee. Sustained by wine."

"90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again."

"You know you’re a mom when you understand why Mama Bear's porridge was cold."

"The quickest way for a mother to get her children’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable."

"Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare."

"I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband."

"Motherhood is basically finding activities for children in three-hour segments, before you lose your mind."

"If at first you don't succeed, try doing it the way your mom told you to do it from the start."

"Motherhood: Because going to the bathroom in private is overrated."

"I always say if you aren’t yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them."

"Cleaning the house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing."